Posts Tagged ‘toddlers’

Leave me alone, I’m just trying to live in the moment!

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

Some days are all about the journey, not the destination.

You want them to be about the destination, especially when that destination sells coffee, but as I am no longer the boss of my life, the coffee shop remains an elusive, distant dream. Today we headed out on a walk, (you know just for something different!!), with the intention of getting to the oval, the playground and then of course our local cafe. I was up to my old tricks of using bribery, games, then demands, then threats to get out the gate and where I wanted to be. But we didn’t make it. Every single part of my life is on a time limit, often measured in minutes rather than hours, and today was no different. The problem is, the people I share most of these minutes with have no concept of the time limit, until about 1 minute before the deadline arrives and then it is announced at the top of their voice!

So today the intention of completing all of these tasks before the baby was due to feed failed. And today it wasn’t really the toddler’s fault, today I blame the rain. Because when you are nearly three, rain means puddles, mud, wet grass and glistening crystals on the grass, and all of these need explicit, undivided and very close attention. So today instead of continuing to bark orders and negotiate to get my child out of the puddles, to put boots back on muddy feet, stop drawing pictures in the mud or flicking the drips off the trees, I just waited. I let him play, draw, laugh, roll around and get wet and enjoy it. Sure I still desperately wanted a coffee, but my baby needed a drink more urgently than that and my toddler just wanted to run and play.

Every day I walk around ticking off the events we have coming up in my head, hopefully filling up the weeks to come with activities that bring the weekends around faster. I count the months away with plans we have made with friends and family. Why? Why wish away this precious time? I have always done it and it is now starting to annoy me. I scoff at people, particularly retired, fit healthy, wealthy people who tell me this is the best time of my life, because that’s crap. My twenties were pretty bloody good! But I do wish I could appreciate the good things about staying at home with little children a bit more. They are funny little creatures who love the world they live in and the people who surround them. Sure they can be absolute pains in the neck, embarrass the pants of me frequently and to be perfectly honest, bore me stupid with the same DVD, story, question or demand for attention. But they are only little for a little while and in comparison to some people, they are both pretty easy to hang out with.

One day I can go back to work where I can actually do something I’m not too bad at. Maybe even have people listen to me and follow instructions rather than just defy every little thing I ask. I am still amazed that while once upon a time I could have an assembly of 240 teenage boys, sit dead silently and pay attention, I cannot get one two-year-old to listen to one sentence that comes out of my mouth! In that life I wished the minutes away as well, waiting for the bell to go to be able to eat lunch, go home, start my weekend of drinking and sleeping in, but then it didn’t really bother me.┬áMaybe then it was because I was surrounded by everyone else doing the same. Maybe it is only now that I can witness the wonder and awe of toddler land that I can appreciate what I am going too fast to notice. Maybe for once, instead of trying to get the toddler to do what I want, that I should listen to him. Maybe for once he does know best and the journey is actually more fun than the destination.

I don’t know, but I’m damned sure a coffee would help me decide.



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