Posts Tagged ‘first born’

Not such Great Expectations

Thursday, April 18th, 2013

I very good friend of mine has a strategy that if you don’t have very high expectations then you can’t get disappointed.

It doesn’t work for me. I have very high expectations, of everyone, including myself, all of the time. Sure there are disappointments, but that’s life. You deal with it and you move on. Or in the case of me the scorpio, you deal with it, move on and then never ever forget! I have high expectations of what I can achieve in a day, of how much help my husband can be, of how fantastic our weekend should be, of having a healthy diet etc. And there is my kids.

My expectations vary from day to hour to situation to minute. Sometimes I aim for getting in and out of the supermarket without having to do the “I’m very mad with you, but don’t want these strangers to know” whisper. Other times I just want to be able to go for a walk without having to stop every minute. And sometimes I just want dinner to stay on the table and some of it go into bellies rather than on the floor. Praise; no. Enjoyable family time; no. Full tummies; yep I’ll settle for that every time.

So what on earth made me think that my wild child would able to do some modelling. Maybe just that, I thought he could so some modelling. He has done a little bit before, both of these times were one session for under an hour. He was great, loved it and far exceeded my expectations. This time they want him to do lots of sessions with lots of clothes on and off each time. No props, no entertainment, just smiling for the camera in a hot studio wearing hoodies and coats. So typical to the wild child’s form, he absolutely stuns me. He loves it, smiles, laughs, even gives one of the girls taking the pics a kiss! Next time is a location shoot, its pouring rain and cold and yet somehow he turns it on for the camera, gets changed, poses, laughs, follows instructions, remarkable. But then he has to go back to the studio and do some more, and he doesn’t love it. He is uncooperative, difficult, naughty, demanding because he is obviously bored. By now my expectations are so low, I just want him to stop running around and stand on the spot for a second to get the pic. It’s not going to happen. But to be fair to him, we are all probably expecting too much. They have  no one entertaining him, the chubba bubba is crawling into the shot, up on the swinging chairs, down the hall, the staff are making idle threats about getting another model, as if he cares!

So what do you do? Perservere with it and hope they can pull some tricks out of the bag to get him back on track?  Bribe him with something he really wants? Pull out of it even though you are only about half way through the gig? (Even though when I agreed I had no idea this was the deal!)  My expectations are probably still way too high to expect a nearly four year old, busy, inquisitive little boy to dress up and smile for the cameras. I wonder what else I will expect of him that is way beyond him because he is the oldest? At the moment we are trying to get his manners in operation 100% of the time. We expect him to eat his dinner at the table. We expect him to tell us when he needs to go to the toilet and we expect him to play nicely with his brothers and his friends.

Meanwhile his little brother has just started walking. At the same age, the wild child was feeding himself, making a bit of sense with his words and running, but because, for the moment, he is the baby, then very little is expected of him, as it should be at 16 months of age. Will being the firstborn mean the wild child always has higher expectations on him? Will these mean that he will achieve much higher than his brother? Or will the pressure to try and be and do more than he can be negative? And will the lower expectations mean my chubba bubba is happier because far less is expected of him? Or will he be lazy and rely on others to always do it for him? Or will my expectations make absolutely no difference to these strong willed, determined, fearless little boys?

Ultimately my expectations of them do not matter. But perhaps what does are the expectations they will eventually have for themselves. And for that I am grateful that neither of them are scorpios!


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