Archive for January 28th, 2014

Great Girl Friends – get yourself one.

Tuesday, January 28th, 2014

I’m not one of those people who have loads of school friends that still trek across the country to meet up in big groups and hang out like the did back in the day. In fact, I barely have any girl friends that I went to school with. Only two in fact, and there is a very good reason for this. They are the best ones I made, the keepers, the one’s worth hanging on to. An ugly break-up with my high school sweetheart had a bit to do with the parting, and the fact that most of my great mates were boys at school might also be a factor, but most of it was because my friends weren’t really friends at all. This has taken me a long time to understand, and is a lesson I am still learning.

I didn’t know about toxic friends back then. I didn’t know it when I started uni and made great mates, and then another uni and made better mates, that this was what good girl friends felt like. And then I got a bit older and made other friends, through work and a new place to live and my children and my husband and my new friends. And I had the pleasure of discovering Great Girl Friends.

If you’ve got one you already know exactly what I am talking about.

Some of my oldest friends still fit me like skin, (well the way my skin fitted me in my twenties anyway!), and they will be with me forever. But one of the most surprising pleasures of growing up is making new friends. They are lovely because like all new things they are shiny and sparkly and make you see yourself in a way that is different to before. They absorb and reflect and highlight you in a way that feeds the soul like nothing else can. They are more fun than a glass of bubbles on a warm afternoon, they are more flattering than an expensive new dress and they are more rejuvenating than a relaxing summer holiday.

Great girl friends give.

And by that I don’t mean presents and money and not even time, because like everyone that’s the one commodity no one has enough of. But they give stuff you can’t buy. They give honesty and interest. They ask questions and listen to the answer. They make you look forward to the weekend, evening, hour or conversation. And they make you look back with warmth. Great girl friends let you do the same for them. They share, they confide, they ask, they seek. They genuinely want to know.

My summer has been filled with sun and sand and surf and my two adorable little boys who soak this up with the enthusiasm of an ADHD clown. But my summer has also been punctuated with hugs and tears from faraway friends, long conversations during a few days of bliss, too much champagne on one special night, a walk to a night-market, afternoons on the beach, lots of chats on the phone and some laughs on a green hill with some band in the background.

Great Girl Friends shine in a way that makes the shadows of others fade away. They fill you up. They nourish you. They feed your soul.

And they last forever.

 



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