Archive for October, 2013

My husband is leaving me and I think my sanity might be hitching a ride.

Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

He’s leaving. It’s not forever, but he hasn’t left yet and I’m already petrified about how on earth I will cope.

I am becoming a surfing widow once again. He is off on the trip of a lifetime and I really hope it is that; the only trip like this he takes in his lifetime. No, not really, I actually hope he completely loves it, the waves pump and he has the best time away with some awesome mates. I absolutely want him to go.

I’m just a bit frightened about what life looks like without him for two and a half weeks. You see I am the breadwinner at the moment. Not as some people think because I am desperate to get back to work, but actually so he could resign and spend some time finding something he really loves doing. So at the moment he is the main carer for the Wild Child and The Stink. He loves it, which is great. He is awesome at it, which is even better.

I have worked often in the last four and half years, I have always done the drop off and pick up and all the looking after. Even while I’m working full time, plus a few other jobs on the side, I have done a few pick ups and drop offs and dinners and lots of all the other stuff so it’s not that I can’t actually do it all, it’s that I might need some help. And this is where the main problem lies, I’m not great at asking for help. My really-amazing-better-than-my-family-because-they-actually-help friends don’t wait for me to ask, they offer and thank god for that. But even then I feel guilty.

I feel guilty that even though I can help out my friends in return, I feel bad that they offer, when my family either can’t or don’t or say no. I know that staying home for two weeks without working wouldn’t be any easier, but it might be less stressful, and financially not much different once the trip and the child care is paid for. I’m okay with feeding them baked beans, or even sushi on the way home. I’m okay with showering every second day, washing clothes on the weekends and being a bit cranky at school. I’m even okay with him being away for my birthday and having the in-laws turn up that night. (Okay I might have drunk a bottle of wine to get through that, but it’s my birthday and I can if I want.)

I just have to view it as an adventure and take the kids on the journey with me. We can all sleep in the big king bed we finally got, we can all hang out and be feral on the weekend together. And if it doesn’t work, we can all hide from the world at home, or the beach, eating icy-poles and reading books.

So if you see me in the next few weeks and I stink, look hungry, are full up to the eyeballs on caffeine to stay awake and don’t recognise you, please don’t take personally, I’m sure the madness will only be temporary. Hopefully it will come back with my surfer boy.IMG_0836



My kids have superpowers and I’m not a fan

Monday, October 7th, 2013


There is no doubt that any ordinary kid, toddler in particular has the capacity to send their sane parents completely bat-shit crazy!

Mine had a head start, but still, they have achieved outstanding success.

Part of the problem are the superpowers that my children possess. Now I know this might sound like a good thing, and I’m sure that their friends will also love these as they get older, but at the moment they are killing me.

The Wild Child has, for a long time, harnessed the Stay Awake Forever super power. He has been the master of sleep deprivation since he was born; mine, his and his dad’s. He can not only stay awake for hours past what is normal, but he can wake us up repeatedly and still be up before bird fart. If he surfs when he is older, his mates will love that he can stay up late and then he will be the first up doing the surf check. He is a freak.

As for The Stink, well his super powers are only now becoming apparent. This child who for a long time went to bed without any of the high drama of his older brother, has developed a power of his own. The power of Night Vision and Motion Detection. We now have to be in his room until he falls asleep. And like some kind of predator watching his prey, at the first sign of any movement, his little head snaps up and the call of ‘MuuuuuM!’ is released. And we start the process again. I’ve tried playing dead, but I just fall asleep.

Between the two of them they are developing new super powers daily. One minute they can turn themselves into Food Missiles, the next they develop Extend-a-limb where any precious/ spillable/ breakable/ expensive item can be swiped off and smashed into a million pieces. The Tornado is an ongoing super power that gets improved daily as they can swiftly turn anything tidy into a giant mess in a heartbeat. Not to mention The Humiliator, Actually that could be their Super Hero identity! My least favourite is The Siren. This is where at any particular moment that I need to listen to an important conversation, news on the radio, or just wait in a queue, The Siren starts. Mostly this is The Stink doing his best impersonation of a car alarm. And even his cuteness doesn’t make that sound okay.

God knows what they will develop as they get older. Being surrounded by teenage boys at my school, I have a fair idea of the noise, dirt and smell that is my future as the mother of boys.

I’m just going to have to work harder on my super power. Invisibility.



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