Archive for September 16th, 2013

Just love. That is all.

Monday, September 16th, 2013

Please don’t judge me I’m doing my best.

We are all doing our best. Sometimes its not the right thing to do, we all know that, but sometimes its the right thing for that moment and until you know the rest of the story, that is okay.

Whose business is it anyway to pass judgement on the choices we make for our kids? Unless of course a child is in danger, the parents can parent however they like. Once upon a time it was only the old ducks in the shops or the doctors surgeries that would cluck about the way that child was behaving. Now everyone has an opinion. And unless you are super skilled at completely avoiding the world that intrudes through your phone or your computer, you can be bombarded by other peoples comments over and over again. And it can make you feel like crap.

I had not heard the expression ‘this too will pass’ until my eldest was nearly two. I dont know if it would have helped the many hours we had spent rocking him to sleep, or justifying to other people why we were pretty unsociable and grumpy because of the little sleep and early mornings we were still having. But maybe it would have helped us put it into perspective.

Now I know better. I am the mother of two wild little boys and I am over justifying their bad behaviour to others, especially those who are supposed to just love, not parent, not judge, just love. They will be judged their whole lives, my two mischievous monsters. Kinder, school, sport, public, cousins, friends everywhere. It is natural to compare, I get that. But sometimes it’s better, and more helpful to just accept and love. Sure they might be attention seeking, or annoying, or embarrassing or infuriating. And sure the response to give in, or yell, or punish, or not is the wrong thing to do at the time. But have no fear, there will be many, many other opportunities to do that.

For now, for today, I’m just going to love. Love what they are great at, love how much they love each other, and love that they are pretty oblivious to the bad press they generate for themselves. It wont be long before they can identify the look of reproach of people who should love them, but dont right at that moment. They will get it from their parents too. So for now, while I can, I will cuddle and laugh and tickle and ignore.

Because that is what is right for right now. And how can anyone pass judgement of that.


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