Secrets and heartbreak

I learnt something this weekend. I learnt it the hard way. I didn’t like it much, but it’s a good lesson to learn.

Everyone has a secret. At least one, some people have a few. Every now and then part of that secret peaks it head out, sometimes it slaps you in the face and sometimes it sneaks back away. For a moment the person you think you know becomes someone else. They remind you of another time and place. They remind you of pain and heartbreak. They remind you that we all keep parts of ourself hidden.

You learn things about people that absolutely blow your mind. They consume your thinking for a day, or more, because although it seems absolutely totally unbelievable, there are a few clues that keep flashing back to make you question just how much of your life you take for granted. I take everything on face value. I accept first impressions as the absolute truth about how that person must be, and often how they always were. I’m notorious for not always finding the right group to fit in when I start somewhere new. I latch on to whoever I think seems similar to me, and then once I actually get to know them I realize that I’m far too bogan for that friendship to work. So I try and weasel my way out of that new-found group of besties into another one. And I am not lying when I say I have done this, it happened at uni, at two work places, even in Mother’s Group.

I have secrets of my own. None that I am particularly good at keeping, but some that have stopped rearing their head quite as often. And I need to remember that in every conversation I have. Whether it be with strangers at the park, or the café, work colleagues who I am delighted are back in my daily life or even my dearest friends and family. You never quite know what the reality is like for them. What their day has entailed before they arrived at wherever they are now. Or whatever they might return to after they leave.

Sometimes its stuff we know and forget or gloss over. Sometimes its stuff that seems trivial to us. Sometimes its things that they are using every part of their body to suppress. And sometimes all it would take is a genuine conversation and a little bit of time to share. But most importantly, sometimes we don’t actually need to know the details, we just need to stop for a moment longer, listen a little more carefully and take a little more care. Maybe then our own secrets become a little bit lighter too.




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