It’s finally making sense

Today my wild child turned 4. He had the absolute best day ever. We all did. In fact it is not even 8 oclock at night and the reason I have time to sit and reflect and write and wonder is because all of the boys are asleep already, including my husband.

This in itself isn’t that unusual, but the feeling of space I have because we had such a great day is a little more abnormal. Sometimes I have time to myself at night, if I got enough work done that day, then I can just watch TV and let the day wash over me. Often there are feelings of regret, of negativity, of messing something up, or ruining what could have been fun, or my kids craziness getting the better of me.

Today we all hung out together. Yes there was still a two hour burst of surfing in the middle, and it wasn’t me, but mostly we were all together all day. And we were in it, really in it. Still answering phones, this time to birthday messages, still trying to write material for a publisher, still taking photos, but this time we weren’t faking it on Facebook, it really was great fun. It felt like a birthday. But more than than, today it felt like a holiday.

With no friends and family around to make the special day into an event, as we normally would, it meant the buck stopped with us. The present of a first-bike was a bit of a winner. He rode it in his jammies, to the shop and back, around the kitchen table, around the outside of the house, to the pub for dinner. Non-stop. And he even asked if he could have it sleep in his bedroom with him. Tick. He is totally obsessed with lighthouses, we amazingly found lighthouse Lego, we made a lighthouse cake, not too fancy, after all no-one else was going to eat this one, and we took him up to the lighthouse. At night. With the light on. (It was actually 5.30 but its pitch black here so it was perfect.) Tick. And he got to go to a special place with playgrounds and mini golf and animals and milkshakes. Tick.

He missed his buddies coming over for cake, as we usually do at home. And we missed the catch up with everyone. But honestly after the last family birthday we threw, when the birthday baby just cried, my balloons just popped, the kids cried over the pinata and my Mum landed a ripper insult on me, loudly in front of my mates, today just seemed a bit more appealing. There were no tears, no fights, no up late cleaning and cooking and wrapping and preparing and stressing and weather watching. We were all home, together, the sun shone, the cake was a hit and his brother and Mum and Dad were enough.

I think this is the whole point of the trip. In fact I know it is. And that makes me smile.




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